How to build your confidence in 5 uncommon ways.

Having confidence is wildly empowering. When was the last time you felt confident? Perhaps you asked for what you wanted, set a boundary, said no, laughed out loud or stayed quiet. Confidence shows up in a variety of ways. There’s no ‘look’ to confidence. A person that walks around with his head up high might not be so confident. A quiet individual who doesn’t speak his mind might be the most self assured and confident person you know. I’m talking about that deep-to-the-core confidence. The confidence that makes you get up in the morning excited to live yet another day as your authentic self. The reason I’m sharing my tips on how to build your confidence is because I, myself, need to get reminded on the deeper meaning of confidence. We all have days where we wake up feeling down, but I want to switch that narrative and help not only you, but myself. Let’s get into.

How to build your confidence (simplified):

1.) Prioritize your gifts.

No matter what age you are, we all have hobbies, interests and things we’ve always wanted to try. When I say ‘prioritize your gifts’ I mean prioritize the interests that you have. It’s not a coincidence that you receive these wants in the first place. What’s the best that can happen if you start following the things that you want to do? Everything will workout? You’ll learn something new? You’ll meet someone new? You’ll discover a new part of yourself? My point is, you’ve got nothing to lose. If you want to start a business, make time for it. If you’ve always wanted to start Pilates, go. Book that class, call that person, make that post, do a workout, write down your feelings, go on a walk, go to a spa. Do what your heart wants to do. Follow what ignites you and fall in love with the thrill of trying something new, or even doing something that isn’t new but helps your overall wellbeing. Follow something you want to do with pure intentions. The last thing you want to do is do something for money or to please someone. Doing something for the ego will only eat up your confidence.

Once you start doing everything you’ve always wanted and making time for it your confidence will start to build. You’ve put yourself first. You finally started living for you! You don't need to wait for someone to say yes or to come with you to experience what you want to experience. The power that this holds is beautiful. The power of discovering new parts of yourself. The power of trusting that no matter what you’re doing it and trying it all. The power in knowing you’re not pausing your life for anyone.

2.) Accept your never ending growth.

Confidence ignites when you accept what you do. However, we are bound to make mistakes. Mistakes are the foundation of your growth. For your confidence to grow you have to learn to accept everything as a learning curve. As I've mentioned before in my blogs, I don't believe in the term mistakes. All that we do in this life is do what we think is best in the moment and try our best to live through our intuition. No one knows what they're doing. Not a single person. You may feel like you're on the right path one day. The day after you might feel so lost and alone yet not a single thing changed between the two days. What actually changes subconsciously is our sureness about life itself. Feeling unsure is something we will continuously go through, especially in our 20s. The more years go by and the more we grow, the more we start to accept the lessons that fly our way.

So why wait until you get to that point of sureness? There are no days, months or years that need to go by in order for you to finally learn your lessons. As the only lesson you need to learn in this exact moment is already happening. You're already learning and evolving. Why not live today with total acceptance that life is happening now and everything always works out? Accepting that your growth is happening now and going with the whole flow of it will build your self confidence up. This is crucial for your deep-to-the-core confidence.

3.) Love your physical.

This one is self explanatory. You were born into the family you're in, in a body you're in, into circumstances you're in for your greatest development. The divine truly doesn't mess up especially with your physical looks. No matter what the society standards are or how they change, your challenge is to accept your beauty as your own. It's very easy to get fixated on your looks, what personality traits you wish you didn't have, how your body fluctuates and the way your hair grows. It's also just as easy to love and appreciate your physical. The way your body is yours to adore, the way you see the world through your sparkling eyes. The sooner you accept that you were created with divine beauty for a reason, the sooner you can start playing around with your looks. Life is supposed to be fun, you can switch up your style, your hair, your interests and everything that tends to change at anytime. Don't fixate on your characteristics, you're deeper than that. Accept your beauty, accept your good qualities, change and grow as much as you want to and free yourself from your limitations. The love you give to yourself will overflow onto everything around you. Your confidence therefore will shine and fuel your day to day life.

4.) Have strong values but don't get stuck on them.

I'm sure you have something you believe in and values you keep close to your heart. We develop our values at every point of our life, from a young age all the way to the present moment. Our values are always put to the test through real life situations. It's okay for our values to change and evolve as life goes on. Just like anything else in this life, it's inevitable for them to change according to your circumstances. You're supposed to change with seasons. A flower can't possibly bloom so bright and beautiful if it hasn't lost all of it's petals, the cycle continues.

Having strong values builds your identity. However, it's easy for your values to hold you back and restrain you from evolving further. It's important not to strongly identify as your values because of the constant changes your values go through. As much as it's beautiful to be passionate about everything in your life in this very moment, it's also beautiful to open up your heart to new possibilities, to new perspectives. This doesn't mean forgetting your values and completely throwing them in the trash. Standing up for what you are today brings confidence to you. You're telling yourself that everything about how you feel today is right. You're reassuring yourself that you're not making mistakes and that you are an individual with self love. And the self love you feel runs deeper than the physical because you got values.

The combo of strong values + an open and curious heart tops everything else.

5.) Live and act according to your values.

If you don't know what your values are, analyze what keeps you in check. What actions and thoughts help you get through hardships. What actions and thoughts help you set boundaries and take all the opportunities you desire. See what drives your actions. After you find out what fuels your actions, you can assign values to them. It's your choice to choose through what actions you want to live today. Let's say what you did yesterday does not align with how you want to live today. Change. Act accordingly to your highest self.

You can certainly criticize yourself in a healthy way only with a purpose of growth, but understand that you did what you did because your emotions overpowered your values. Emotions can get the best of you, but your deep rooted values keep you grounded. Acting according to your values and not your emotions will make you trust yourself more. And that’s because when you act according to your values you have to give thought to your actions. Emotions change so abruptly that they’ll get you confused. Your values will keep your head high, keep you empowered and therefore confident.