Is negative positivity all that wrong?

Back in high school, I began to question what positivity truly meant to me. At that time, I had a clear vision of the mindset I wanted to attain in my everyday life. By following the guiding lights of positivity and love, I aimed to showcase these principles to the people around me. Little did I know that embracing the good in every situation would lead me into self-conflicting yet learnable experiences, expanding my worldview. Staying positive became my refuge, a shield against the acceptance of anything unpleasant, despicable, or evil in my life. If given the choice, I would unfailingly opt for positivity. Why willingly embrace anything negative? I understood that my reactions and perspective were within my control. I loved having control over myself as it was the only sense of certainty I could gain. Through living overly positive I ignored the other half of living, the negative.

I once read a book titled 'The subtle art of not giving a f*ck' by Mark Manson. Mark argues, in summary, to embrace negative thinking whilst giving less f*cks about it. He also claims we choose what to give a f*ck about daily. The reason I'm bringing this book up is as an example of how you can choose 'Positivity' as a value you care for. I was then hit with the realisation that I was embracing positivity wrong all along. Good doesn't exist without bad. Birth doesn't exist without death. What if every doubt, fear, sadness, and 'negative emotion' isn't negative but merely neutral? Can we coexist with these emotions without letting them bring us down? For anyone who made it their life's mission to live positively and in constant self improvement, how do we manage negativity in our lives and live in contentment with it?

It's a simple shift: stop managing. The more we try to control our emotions, the more we disappoint ourselves. Disappointment sets in when expectations aren't met. If being positive means having an optimistic worldview, then why not watch over negative thoughts? Why not use negative emotions as learning experiences? Imagine that you're in traffic and every thought is a passing by car. If you were to respond and fight back at every car that tailgates and curses at you, you'd never get going. You'd slow down, tailgate back, get mad and before you know it you're behind on schedule. You can't quite control who drives by you, when and how. Keep driving, stay focused and ask yourself what you can learn from the cars passing by you. Negative positivity roots from being in an unbalance with your self awareness. Being in unbalance means you're letting your emotions control you. Sit back and observe the intertwining complexity of your mind. It takes time, real digging and self discovery to get to a point of bliss, so what is your value of positivity built on? Is it built on a superficial image or inner truth?

Positivity can be created through your own meaning. It is then built on your daily choices and actions.

Once you accept who you are now, as you are now, you can move onto growing and evolving further slowly filling your heart with love, charisma and purity. We can't force ourselves into a positive mindset if we don't step into ourselves first. Realise that your thoughts do not make you who you are. The amount of information we received from birth to now is endless so our brains are most likely to be jumbled and tangled. The purest form of you is your heart. Don't force yourself to be positive. If you feel sh*t, feel sh*t. The more you reject something, the longer it stays and manifests into your life. Every emotion is with you for a reason. Don't make feeling negatively a big deal, it really isn't anything but the current truth. The biggest mistake I made was looking at every conflict in a positive light. When we are in a conflict with either another person or ourselves, choosing to ignore the negative aspect of it means to ignore the growth and lessons we can potentially gain from it. Conflicts, mistakes and struggles provide you with golden information you'll be grateful for later on. If that is the way we look at mistakes, it's more effortless to accept that negativity is just positivity's shadow.